Dear Hipstercrite: You’ve Got Questions, We’ve Got Answers

This week we stumbled upon The Hipstercrite‘s hilarious open letter to “people who live in fancy tiny houses”.  It was full of valid questions, including queries (in this order) regarding Mexican food farts, sexy time and preparedness for zombie attacks.  We get these types of questions a lot, so my husband Tobin and I reflected on our lives in our 242 sq. ft. Wee Cottage in the West Village of NYC and answered a few of her questions below.
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Q: Do you actually love living in a fancy tiny house*?
A: Yes*.
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Q: What the hell happens when your tiny house partner farts Mexican food farts, huh? Where do you escape to? Nowhere. You have nowhere to run. All you can do is walk three feet to the other end of the house and pray.
A: We tame those demons with holy sticks.  Also, on a day-trip through the Catskills we found a kickass box of vintage matchbooks.  We’ve sprinkled them all around the Wee Cottage so you’re always within arms length of striking a match.
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Holy sticks + artisanal matchbooks > Mexican food farts
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Q: I f’ing love the idea of downsizing and living a “simple life,” but seriously, where do you put your shit? You still have some clothing and shoes and towels and all that jazz, right? Or do you just wear overalls now? Overalls and Birkenstocks and one towel that you share with your entire family. 
A: We prefer and recommend rompers as an efficient clothing solution.
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Q: And I know your house isn’t that clean all of the time.
A: It gets messy:IMG_9689
..but don’t get mad at us if it still looks charming.
#sorrynotsorry
 ***
Q: What if you’re having a shitty day and you just want to be alone?
A: Don’t shitty days make you want to curl up and snuggle? Just us?
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Q: What about sexy time, huh?
A: In every room across the house, baby!
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Q: Some of you tiny house dwellers don’t even have beds! WHERE IS THE BED?!
A: Don’t worry, we have a bed.  It’s just hiding in the wall.
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Q: What about guests? Where do you put your guests? Can friends and family even visit you?
A: We love our family but we’re newlyweds, so we’d say this works in our favor 🙂
***
Q: Guys, you know when the zombie apocalypse comes you’re going to be the first to go, right? 
A: Bring it on, zombies.
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Be honest: You just want to live out your life like a Wes Anderson character, don’t you? (Maybe) You want to be some eccentric full of whimsy who doesn’t need modern tools or resources to live a fulfilling life. (Ok) Well, good for you and your small abode. (Thanks!) I hope you’re happy and that all my questions and concerns are just the ramblings of a jealous woman who wants a tiny house of her own. (You’re welcome to come over for a cocktail anytime!)
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*Yes, we love living in our 242 square foot West Village Wee Cottage.  It’s simple, easy to manage and we even surprised ourselves when we figured out how not to kill each other.  The honest truth is we choose to live tiny to keep our monthly overhead low and invest in building Tobin’s craft cocktail company, Hella Bitters.  You do what you gotta do to live the dream!

2 thoughts on “Dear Hipstercrite: You’ve Got Questions, We’ve Got Answers

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